Getting paid to drink

[j.m@talk]

LONDON (Reuters) - Found: drinking companions to join elderly gentleman for a friendly beer at his local pub.

Mike Hammond was bombarded with offers after advertising in his village post office for someone to accompany his 88-year-old father Jack on visits to a southern England pub from a nursing home.

He offered the lucky winner 7 pounds ($14) an hour plus expenses and, after sifting through the applicants, decided on a job-share. Drinking duties are to be divided between a retired doctor and a former military man.

"Dad's now going to be going down to the pub several times a week -- three with his new friends and twice with me," Mike Hammond told The Times on Thursday. "I want to give him some of his old life back."



Popycock

[werz]

You missed out on the job then, jm.

[j.m@talk]

I do ne do boozin' these days ..........

Sobriety is ............... Freakin' boring tho'

[mireland]

I do ne do boozin' these days ..........

Sobriety is ............... Freakin' boring tho'

saves money on booze; spend it on strippers instead.

[j.m@talk]

Strippers is soooooo Ugly ya needs booze to have the courage to look tho'

[mireland]

Strippers is soooooo Ugly ya needs booze to have the courage to look tho'

you're not supposed to go for the trannies...............

[j.m@talk]

Oops!

[BadDriver]

I am in the same boat Murph. I have been sober for two weeks and I am just now learning to deal with it. It isn't too bad once you get a feel for it.

[Baddog]

Strippers is soooooo Ugly ya needs booze to have the courage to look tho'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2KZWvdwyOg

[Shoreguy]

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed.

'Who was that?' asked his wife.

'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers.

'Did you help him?' she asks.

'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!'

'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!'

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?'

'Yes,' comes back the answer.

'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.

'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.

'Where are you?' asks the husband.


'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk

[herosrest]

Some of the Tui ads on YT are........... amusing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAmJEqBSBqI

The best i've seen though is Sharon Stone being 'set up' - she cracks up for real.
Voila - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bdnsAosfVA