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Thread: BEST OUT OF OFFICE REPLIES

  1. 04-11-2008, 04:19 PM #1
    Baddog
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    BEST OUT OF OFFICE REPLIES

    BEST OUT OF OFFICE REPLIES
    1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

    2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

    3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

    4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

    5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

    6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over...)

    7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

    8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

    9. I've run away to join a different circus.

    10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.
    Improvise - Adapt - Overcome
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  2. 04-11-2008, 05:02 PM #2
    mireland
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  3. 04-11-2008, 05:38 PM #3
    leprechaun_40
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  4. 04-11-2008, 05:58 PM #4
    Lgbpop
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    "You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille..."
    Thank God we're not getting all of the government we're paying for!
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  5. 04-11-2008, 07:28 PM #5
    Baddog
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lgbpop
    "You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille..."
    Four hungry children........ and the crops in the field.....
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  6. 04-13-2008, 08:09 PM #6
    j.m@talk
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    Lucille R Jones just doesn't have the same ring to it somehow




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  7. 04-13-2008, 08:11 PM #7
    j.m@talk
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baddog
    Four hungry children........ and the crops in the field.....
    Was it only me that thougt he sang "Four hundred children had a carp in a field" ? ........... I oftern spent hours wondering why ........

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  8. 04-13-2008, 08:20 PM #8
    mireland
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    what?
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  9. 04-13-2008, 08:27 PM #9
    j.m@talk
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    Well I did ....... We don't have that type of music here ...... Neither Country Nor Western ...... Ya freakin' awl' ........... If our farmers start gettin roudy, we don't organise a ho-down ......... We go beat the livin' carp outta em wiv sticks ...... That way they stay in the country side, dealin wiv the cow poo & other countryfied pass times........ Theys all called Jethro & Mungo etc etc anyways

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  10. 04-13-2008, 08:42 PM #10
    mireland
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    pardon me while I get some cocaine....
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  11. 04-13-2008, 09:03 PM #11
    herosrest
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    During deep sleep IT came to me and the future of processing is clear.
    Future processors will primarily be digital tuning radios acting as grid computing nodes.
    Voila. See ya in hell.     PROCESSING
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  12. 04-13-2008, 09:09 PM #12
    mireland
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    Quote Originally Posted by herosrest

    what's wrong with you..I clicked on that darn thing and nothing happened...
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