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Thread: Dogs & Cats

  1. #1
    Ultimate Member SPEEDO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Central Maine

    Dogs & Cats

    As seen in a dog's diary:

    8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
    10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
    11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
    Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
    1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
    3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
    4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
    7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
    9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

    As seen in a cat's diary:

    Day 183 of my captivity...
    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
    The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
    satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
    Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my
    captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
    succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.
    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
    again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on
    their bed.
    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt
    to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
    their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
    cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
    in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
    smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due
    to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to
    my advantage.
    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
    The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
    obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an
    informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
    every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is
    But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

  2. #2
    Ultimate Member Swordfish's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    hehe funny.... ....good one, SPEEDO.


    a double post, saw one at IMO.

  3. #3
    Intimate Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Elberton, Georgia
    Yep...a dang good one...but, somehow I missed it at the rival outfit.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Yeah, aren't cats great?

  5. #5
    I got pie!!! Ammok's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    when you call a dog, they come running and when you call a cat, you have to leave a message till they get back to you.LOL.

    Good un, Speedo.
    Life is a bowl of cherries

  6. #6
    Ultimate Member bassman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    "But I can wait, it is only a matter of time..."

    He should have added: "I'm gonna take my fourth three hour nap now..."

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