World's Funniest Joke Revealed After Internet Vote
Famed fictional detective Sherlock Holmes and his gruff assistant Doctor Watson pitch their tent while on a camping expedition, but in the middle of the night Holmes nudges Watson awake and questions him.
HOLMES: Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce.
WATSON: I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it is quite likely there are some planets like earth, and if there are a few planets like earth out there there might also be life.
HOLMES: Watson, you idiot! Somebody stole our tent.
The BA said the joke was the most popular among 10,000 submitted, being chosen as the best by 47 percent of the 100,000 people from more than 70 countries who took part.
Must have been a pretty sad list of jokes. The answer to that joke is far too obvious to be funny.
Isn't that joke pretty old, too? I remember first hearing it a couple of years ago.
I don't think that humor or funniness (?) is something that is obviously identified. The joke wasn't nearly as funny the second time I heard it, and some things I thought histerical a few years ago are merely amusing now. I guess that what I'm trying to say is I question the validity of this test.
Ok, why don't you give us your choice for the funniest joke.
Last edited by muchmark; 01-05-2002 at 09:55 PM.
Woman to friend, “I think my husband is gay.”
Friend, “My god! what are you going to do?”
Woman, “I don’t know, I am so frustrated don’t know which way to turn.”
I'd have to edit my own posts if I told the one's I just heard from work. lol
Re: old joke?
Yeah, that one's been around now for ages. I got it at about the same time I started email...if I remember correctly, the main charactors were the Lone Ranger and Tonto.
Originally posted by scottsaxman
Isn't that joke pretty old, too? I remember first hearing it a couple of years ago.
A wealthy husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that??"
"Oh,"replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that, " replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infinities or Lexuses in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim? "asks the wife.
That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies.
Blabber-mouthed `Coon hound
Joseph Dorkovich had grown up on a fairly prosperous farm in the deep south, he worked hard on his "pa"s farm, and was above average in school, graduating in the upper 10% of his class. "Joe", as did all southern boys, loved to hunt and fish. and always had a couple of "coon" hounds somewhere around him.
When Joe graduated from high school, he had several offers of partial scholarship, to some of the better institutions of learning, due to his academic and athletic achievements in high school. Pa thought he should go on to college, and learn as much as he could.
So, Joe went off to a noted school of science...and decided to major in medicine, and become a doctor. so far, so good. But his studies, left little time for an after school job, and sence Pa was footing the bills at the college...his extra curricular activities were suffering.
Joe began asking Pa for $200 plus, a month for "school supplies"
...after several months, Pa sent him a letter saying..."son, I am footon' the bill at that durn high priced school of yourn, and I ain't made outta money...I think you air gonna havto find yo seff some money for those experiments sommers else". signed, Pa.
Joe thought on this for a couple of days, and wrote this letter to Pa..."Pa...I understand that you arn't made of money, and I really hate to be asking you for the extra. But..and you MUST keep this a close secret..because if it gets out, we will loose all of our experiments to another school. Pa, we are working on a way to do surgery on animals, such as a dog, that will give them speech!!!!...Pa...can you imagine talking to ole Blue??? and learn how he was able to always find those `coons, when the
other dogs had given up? We are so close, Pa..and if we can finish up ahead of those other schools, we will make a lot of money...I will be rich."
Pa not only sent Joe an extra $1000 but shipped ole Blue to the school, to make him talk.
By and by...Joe came home for summer vacation, Pa met him at the bus station, and the first thing out of Pa's mouth was "where is Blue?"...Joe, having thought about this said, "Pa...I really hate to tell you this, but I had to do away with Blue...I had to put him to sleep...I sure hated it...but, believe me Pa..it was for the best.
Pa looked up at Joe, with tears in his eyes, and said..." Joe, Joe..tell me you is lying..Joe...please tell me you didn't kill ole Blue!?" by this time, tears were streaming down Pa's face.
Joe said, " well Pa...I knew you were going to be sad, but let me tell you what Blue had to say, when he came back from surgery. He looked up and saw me, and said...Do you recon your Pa is still sticking the milk maid every morning?"
Pa...looking shocked, said.." son...SON!! you is real shore Blue is dead ain't ye..., you is REAL SHORE that dog is DEAD??...no mistakes now?"
Hope this isn't too gross.
This woman gets out of the shower, wraps a towel around herself, and the phone rings. She answers the phone and while she's talking, the towel falls off. Her young son comes into the room and points at her private area and says, "mommy mommy, whats that thing?" She says, "umm that's my sponge Jonny". Her son runs off and plays.
A few weeks later, after surgery that required her pubic hair to be shaved off. The woman gets out of the shower and wraps a towel around herself, and the phone rings. She answers the phone and while she's talking, the towel falls off. Her young son comes into the room and points to her private area and says, "mommy mommy Where's your sponge?" She says, "umm I lost it Jonny". He runs off saying "I'll find it mommy, I'll find it."
A few minutes later, little Jonny comes running up to her screaming " I found your sponge mommy, I found your sponge". Puzzled she says, "where is it Jonny".
" The maids' upstairs washing daddys' face with it".
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." and the grasshopper says "What... you have a drink named Murray?"
This man buys a pet parrot and he brings him home and the parrot starts cursing him and using terrible language and insulting his wife so finally the man picks up the parrot and throws him in the freezer to teach him a lesson. He can hear the parrot squawking and screaming in there, and then all of a sudden the parrot gets quiet. The man opens the freezer door and the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well thank you, I forgive you." And the parrot says, "If you don't mind my asking... what did the chicken do?"
That one was phunny
Best Regards ...
One of My Favorites
There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN. This time he says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returns. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!
The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears."
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