need to find a few things for my site

[Dovaka]

im trying to make a intranet page for a LAN party and i have the whole thing made except for 3 things i need to find

first a chat room that i can have on there preferably one that doesnt require any aditional software ie PHP or somehting else like that

i also need to have a simple signup sheet where you just fill in say 3-4 fields hit enter and it adds that to a list i assume cgi is the best route for this but im not totally sure

and a poll that can have 20 variables

all of this needs to able to run without a internet connection

any help is greatly appreciated feel free to IM me if you need any more info

AIM=dovaka
ICQ=53694759
YAHOO=patrickcsullivan