How's this for a grammer check......

[NavyDood_ F/A18_Mech]

Here's some grammer for ya.

We had a jet that was U after the first event. Now it is D, for no VEN movement. On 0170 day AMSU delivered the VPU so we could get to R&R'ing it. We had to put our MAF IW first. MC was calling on the 1MC wondering what we were doing. Wondering why 64L wasn't opened yet. Then QA was yelling because we had the TEF resting on 64L. We needed a couple of orings, so we had to go get them from the PRE-X. Finally we got the VPU changed. We had to call the line to bring us a PON-6 so we could service the VPU. Then we had to cycle the VEN system with a NLT-1. Finally we went in and reviewed the ADB so we could LPTU the engine. The we realized it needed a HPTU for a VEN funtional test. So we got everything ready and went to high power. Well we realized when we got out there that HS-1 needed serviced. So someone had to go back and get the HSU. Finally we got done with the HPTU. We got back and signed the MAF off. Then we launched the plane for a Pro-B and C.F.

All in a days work in military lingo.

I'll de-cypher this in a day or so.

Jim

[This message has been edited by NavyDood_ F/A18_Mech (edited 06-22-2000).]

[Warthog]

Yikes. Interpretation?

Warthog

[SysOpt]

Heh.. So how often do you get to ride along with the pilot to "make sure everything is working" (in the two seat models obviously)? My flight instructor was a mechanic for the Air Force - worked on F-15's I believe.

[This message has been edited by SysOpt (edited 06-22-2000).]

[ghostface]

yikes is right. sounds like some of the dissection "instructions" we were given in anatomy.

[NavyDood_ F/A18_Mech]

Hey Scott......

Actually we don't get to go up for rides.
It sux big time. Celebrities get to go up all the time. But yet those of us that maintain the *bleeping* jets for the pilots to keep them air worthy, don't even get to go up. There are a few squadrons that do allow enlisted ppl to get back seat qualified. But they are scarce. We are NOT one of them.

I get to start them up for maintenace procedures or trouble shooting though. The best thing is taking a jet out to high power. We attach a huge logging chain to the nose strut that is attached to a certified spot on the ground. Then we can run both engines all the way up to 100% and even afterburner. When we leak check the engine after replacing a component, we get as close as 3 feet to the Afterburner flame. It's pretty cool. Well hot too.

Jim

[Titan]

Warthog, interpretation as follows, they left the cooler of beer in the cockpit.

[noresull]

Titan, LMAO!!!!!

[davem]

Hey navydude

I think they are talking about the latest hi tech engineering. From what I hear it comes complete with :

Full overhead nuts and bolts
Full ash trays
Shaved dipstick
and shagpile carpeted engine bay
Oh and beleive the steering wheel is Ported and polished.
Man! you guys just don't understand modern teknoligy!
Sheeeze!(lol)..

[Toadman]

Holding back an F/A-18 with a chain during a stage 5 AB run-up?? Wow! I take it you work on GE F404 EPE's. Sounds like more fun than avionics or ordinance, though.

[desmocat]

I used to live right off the end of the runway where dude is based when I was a little kid. Carswell was an active SAC base then (late 60's to about 72). My mom hated it because the B-52s coming up used to rattle the whole house and broke a few pieces
before she got wise and took her plate collection off the wall.
I always thought it was cool when the thuds
(F-105) would take off in pairs and rock de house too.. I miss sonic booms Full afterburner kicks ***! Mp

[NavyDood_ F/A18_Mech]

Well here's the translated version. (A few months late)

We had a jet that was (U = Up) after the first event. Now it is (D = Down) for no (VEN = Variable Exhaust Nozzle) movement. On 0170 day (0170 = 170th day of the year) (AMSU = Aeronautical Material Screening Unit) delivered the (VPU = Ven Power Unit) so we could get to (R&R = Removing and Replacing)it. We had to put our (MAF = Maintenace Action Form) (IW = In Work) first. (MC = Maintenance Control) was calling on the (1MC = Phone on land) wondering what we were doing, and wondering why (64L = Access Door on Jet) wasn't opened yet. Then (QA = Quality Assurance) was yelling because we had the (TEF = Trailing Edge Flap) resting on (64L = See Above). We needed a couple of o-rings, so we had to go get them from the (Pre-X = Pre expended bin). Finally we got the (VPU = Ven Power Unit) changed. We had to call the line to bring us a (PON-6 = oil servicing unit) so we could service the (VPU = Ven Power Unit). Then we had to cycle the (VEN = Variable Exhaust Nozzle) system with a (NLT-1 = Nozzle Line Tester). Finally we went in and reviewed the (ADB = Aircraft Discrepency Book) so we could (LPTU = Low Power Turn) the engine. The we realized it needed a (HPTU = High Power Turn) for a (VEN = Variable Exhaust Nozzle) funtional test. So we got everything ready and went to high power. Well we realized when we got out there that (HS-1 = Hydraulic Sysytem #1) needed serviced. So someone had to go back and get the (HSU = Hydraulic servicing unit). Finally we got done with the (HPTU = High Power Turn). We got back and signed the (MAF = Maintenance Action Form) off. Then we launched the plane for a (Pro-B = Profile Flight B) and (C.F. = Check Flight)

[Thud]

On that note:

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid,
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing
gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces
a 200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to
stick
(S) That's what they're there for

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief
search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly
right" and be serious

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words

[sharder8]

Hey NavyDood_F/A18_Mech --

What happened to the piece of Flight Line to add to the required maint.?

I was Army, but we used to enjoy sending "newbies" out to the airfield to bring back a piece of "Flight Line". Then one day we had a PVT bring back a piece of FOD that was a section of WD-1 that he found on the runway! Kid said it had to be "Flight Line" since he found it on the runway! That ruined the fun for a while!!!

A-a-a-r-r-r-g-g-g-h-h-h!!! They're getting smarter all the time!

[regrob]

Thud,LMAO !!!!!!!

[Romulus2]

Thud~ LOL literally!!!