Personal Problem

[Cloud]

I need some advice from you guys...
what would you do if you were in this situation...
Ok, i am a Hindu(Indian) and i am in love with this women from my college and she's also in love with me.
We been dating for over an year now. Only problem is that my parents dont want me to marry american girl, they only want me to marry indian girls. But i have no intention of marrying indian girls.
Ok, Now you thinking that, why would 23 years grown man would be scared of their parents, right?
Well, it's not that i am scared of them, it's the respect that i hold for them, I love my parents, cause they raised me and put me through college. They have different beliefs, cause they were raised all their life in india and they dont understand american culture. What would you do if you were in my situation? Cause i want to marry this girl and dont want my parents to think they have failed raising me...

[BBA]

Now that sounds like good advice.

Remember...you will live with your wife as your family grows. I assume you will not be living with your parents.

I think your own family success depends on doing what YOU can be happy with more than on what anyone else can be happy with.

[Steve R Jones]

Your family needs to meet her. They will probably fall in love with her too http://www.sysopt.com/forum/smile.gif

[gyoung]

Cloud,

Do I know your situation or what?

I'm getting married next month to an Indian girl. Both of her parents are from India. We went through a whole thing less than 2 years ago.

It wasn't because I wasn't Indian, it was that I wasn't as successful (I am successful, just not a doctor or a lawyer) as they would like for their daughter. Well she broke it off because she didn't want to go against her parent's wishes. She kept me informed the whole time and told me the truth (which I love her for). I didn't know her parents that well and told her to give me some time with her parents and they will love me like a son (I'm good like that http://www.sysopt.com/forum/smile.gif )

Well almost 2 years later, and we are getting married next month. Her parents love me and I have been accepted into the family. I never held it against her parents and love them immensely. They come from a different culture and I respect that. It just takes compassion and understanding.

Stick with it. Follow Cadd's advice and go slow. Get her involved with your family. Considering you come from your parents and you love this girl, I can see your parents falling for her too.

[Cloud]

Thanks guys for you advice.
Cadd, Yes i really love this girl. Never felt anything like this before in my life.
There's nothing wrong with this girl, she holds master in computer science and very
successful, i also hold bachlor in computer science and working toward my master.
Gyoung, Congralutions for your success.
I can imagine what your gf been through when she broke then news to their parents.
And it ain't preety.
Cause indian parents except you to follow their footsteps, not in career wise but the
why you live your life.
But i am gonna take your advice cadd and go for it.

Thanks

[wyvrn]

My wife is Cambodian, and her parents are very old fashioned. They were very tough to please at first as well, as they only wanted the best for their daughter. I must say that over time they have been very accepting and now accept me as their son. But, the beginning was very tough and I had to play the waiting game for 2 years to marry my wife as she finished school. So many times I felt it would be easier to quit the relationship. But we stayed together and are now very happy. My wife and I are as a result very strong in our relationship. I have lived with her parents in the past, and have come to take on some of their traditions as my own. My life is much richer because I chose to marry someone from another culture, and in retrospect, I would not change anything. American culture is not quite as familial as Eastern cultures are, I think we stress a bit more independence and freedom of thought. It takes some getting used to, but in the end you realize everyone wants the same thing, to have a successful and happy family life.

Best wishes,

Robert

[surrealchereal]

The thing is once you marry, she (or he) is your family. You are no longer part of something (your family), you and she are your family.. Your children become part of your family. YOUR family. The one you have created.

[Sixpac]

LOVE = EVERYTHING

I had the chance (althought I am a European white guy (which doesn't matter, cause everyone is the same in this and every world) ) and I blew it. I thought I would sew my wild oates for a while then she married some other guy and I was most depressed.

So from my experience, just do it. Because love concers all. They will learn to love her as much as you do.

I hope you do well. I know that religious stuff can get in the way of relationships but just remember about Romeio and Juliet (not the dieing stuff either)....

T.

[Warthog]

surreal - how the heck did you come across this thread? http://www.sysopt.com/forum/biggrin.gif

Warthog