nunyadam
02-02-2001, 07:24 PM
> All about Idiots
>
>
> >
> > IDIOTS IN SERVICE: This week, all our office phones went
> > dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They
> > promised to be out between 8:00 am. and 7:00 p.m. When I
> > asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the
> > pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you
> > before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be
> > able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also
> > requested that we report future outages by email (Does
> > YOUR email work without a telephone line?).
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOTS AT WORK: I was signing the receipt for my credit
> > card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my
> > name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she
> > could not complete the transaction unless the card was
> > signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary
> > to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I
> > signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared
> > the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As
> > luck would have it, they matched.
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area.
> > We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
> > administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
> > Crossing sign on our road. The reason:
> > too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want
> > them to cross there anymore.
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco
> > Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the
> > counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they
> > only had iceberg.
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the
> > gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put
> > anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To
> > which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would
> > I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we
> > ask."
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOT SIGHTING #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes
> > when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an
> > intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if
> > I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
> > blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
> > "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOT SIGHTING #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and
> > dear coworker who is leaving the company due to
> > 'downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "this is fun.
> > We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken.
> > We all just looked at each other with that
> > deer-in-the-headlights stare.
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOT SIGHTING #4: I work with an individual who plugged
> > her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't
> > understand why her system would not turn on.
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOT SIGHTING #5: When my husband and I arrived at an
> > automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the
> > keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department
> > and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
> > driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
> > instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
> > unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!"
> > To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
> >
> >
> >
> > DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER NOW!!!
>
>
> >
> > IDIOTS IN SERVICE: This week, all our office phones went
> > dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They
> > promised to be out between 8:00 am. and 7:00 p.m. When I
> > asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the
> > pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you
> > before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be
> > able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also
> > requested that we report future outages by email (Does
> > YOUR email work without a telephone line?).
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOTS AT WORK: I was signing the receipt for my credit
> > card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my
> > name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she
> > could not complete the transaction unless the card was
> > signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary
> > to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I
> > signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared
> > the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As
> > luck would have it, they matched.
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area.
> > We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
> > administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
> > Crossing sign on our road. The reason:
> > too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want
> > them to cross there anymore.
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco
> > Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the
> > counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they
> > only had iceberg.
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the
> > gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put
> > anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To
> > which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would
> > I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we
> > ask."
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOT SIGHTING #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes
> > when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an
> > intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if
> > I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
> > blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
> > "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOT SIGHTING #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and
> > dear coworker who is leaving the company due to
> > 'downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "this is fun.
> > We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken.
> > We all just looked at each other with that
> > deer-in-the-headlights stare.
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOT SIGHTING #4: I work with an individual who plugged
> > her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't
> > understand why her system would not turn on.
> >
> >
> >
> > IDIOT SIGHTING #5: When my husband and I arrived at an
> > automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the
> > keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department
> > and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
> > driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
> > instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
> > unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!"
> > To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
> >
> >
> >
> > DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER NOW!!!