Oh No...

[brandon184]

I was presented with some disturbing news this afternoon... A close friend of the family has cancer. http://sysopt.earthweb.com/forum/frown.gif

She was told by her doctor that things were not good.

There are a few people who live in the area with this illness, and when you thought about who you could imagine getting it, you just don't imagine a lot of people.

When you hear this sort of news, its like a bad dream. You kind of just stop. Everything stops. Nothing makes sense. You just can't believe what you have just heard. I'm sure a lot of you can relate.

Especially with cancer. There is almost not much you can do to prevent it, especially when you are faced with inevitable cancer causing environments in your life. And even though a lot of people end up fine, the road ahead some cancer patients have to face is difficult.

I've known this news for a few hours now, and its not registering. This is such a shock that it is the hardest thing to believe. I'm still feeling sick to my stomach.

I know that this is becoming common now, but its still shocking.

Another thought is... You could be told this next. But it will be someone else. You don't know who it will be, and it could be anyone. The only thing you know to do is to hope and pray that the person will be just fine, and to help them get through it.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[BBA]

I thought for sure I was going to loose a friend of mine of some 15 years to cancer last year.

It was a shock. Made me think of the things we used to do and the memories seemed to take so much more value, especially when you start to examine the truth about your own mortality.

My friend underwent some extremely high dosage treatment and some surgery and survived, so we still party once in a while to this day. I really hope your friend bids as well.

[socalgal]

I'm sorry for this bad news to your friend, you, and your family, Brandon.

My prayers and best wishes are with her and for you and yours also. It is good that she has you and your family's love and support through this.

[embalmerd]

In situations like this it is up to you to be Strong for the family and family of friends.

Keep your chin up and hopes high.

[Szech]

brandon184... Do you know if the cancer has spread? If so, then it's REALLY bad. If not, then there is more hope. Also, do you know where the cancer is? That is also a determining factor in her chances.

I never thought that anyone I knew would get cancer. Or at least I hoped they wouldn't. But about eight years ago, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and it was like someone smacked me with a 2 by 4. At first I didn't want to believe it, and then I wondered what would happen if she didn't make it.

She does have health insurance, and they did pay most of the bills. She began the treatments the next week. The chemotherapy treatments took a lot out of her, and it was painful watching over her after she got them. Fortunately, she pulled through. Fortunate for her and me.

So I know what you must be feeling right now, and in this hard time, I hope you can do the right thing for yourself and her. Is your friend going to get treatment? Does she have insurance?

Good luck and God bless.

Here is a good page for information:
http://www.cancer.org/

[This message has been edited by Szech (edited 10-11-2000).]

[alondra]

don't know where your friend is, but if near Boston or LA area, Loma Linda. there are what is called Proton Beam machines. if the cancer is treatable by them, they are #1.
been there done that.
regards. Al

[Underclocked]

Like alondra, been there and done that. It can be whipped.
My sympathies for your friend in any event.

[tonym]

And never underestimate the power of prayer!

I'll make a very long story kinda short.

My nephew Matthew was diagnosed with liver cancer when he was 1-1/2 years old. You want to know how? My wife and I were babysitting him two weeks before Christmas in 1998 and she was changing his diaper and felt a hard lump dead-center in his abdomen when the new diaper was going on. Infants are always squirming, etc., so she thought it was his ribcage. Until she felt it AGAIN! She screamed for me to come and feel it and I felt my emotion drain from me. I KNEW WHAT IT WAS! It was a very long wait for his parents to come home from the party. And it was a long wait for the next morning to go to the emergency room with him, his parents and my in-laws and other extended family. [His parents never noticed because he squirmed a lot and they were brand-new parents and ignorant that this could occur. And he had just been to the pedatrician two days before!!]
I will never forget the look on Karen's (his mother's, my sis-in-law) face when the doctor pronounced his diagnosis "metastisized liver cancer". You could tell she saw Matt's etched gravestone!!! Sitting in that e-room waiting area is still a detail-by-detail vivid memory for my wife and I even to today.

Well, my wife and I are the praying sort. We told EVERYONE that would listen to pray for Matt. People of all faiths (and I mean all Chrisitan, Moslem, Jewish, Buddhist...) included Matt in their prayers and prayer-groups. I prayed almost constantly. So did my wife. So did a LOT of other people.

The funny thing is that even before any surgery was discussed, he went through many rounds of chemotherapy (that was constantly changed so as not to destroy his eyes, ears or kidneys), and the metatastatic sites were reduced or eliminated! it was not a prophilactic course, just meant to slow/stop the growth of the main tumor. This was unexpected and unexplained by the medicos!!

Surgery came at Children's Hospital in Boston with a skilled surgeon, etc., and the tumor was removed with margin (i.e. none was left in Matt), and about 70% of his liver. The tumor was about the size of a "Nerf" football.

The doctors were very confident that they got the cancer but they thought it was a small extension of his life due to the metastization.

More chemotherapy ensued and after 6 months, enzyme tests concluded that he was cancer free!!

And he is today!! He will be 4-1/2 years old in December. Very much a normal and energetic child (with a normal-sized liver, I might add!) with a slight hearing loss and a rather large scar on his belly! But he's ALIVE!!!

I credit medicine as much as I can for what they can do and what they DID do for Matt. But there are intangiables and unexpected things that happened to him that I credit the power of prayer. He was very well cared for medically AND spiritually! I consider what happened with Matt nothing short of a MIRACLE!!!

And we (all) still pray for him frequently!

I will never, ever underestimate the power of prayer. God does listen. You just have to ask!

I NEVER will forget this!

So, PLEASE, PRAY! And don't give up on your friend for one second!!!

Tony

[Barney]

My grandmother died of cancer.She had it for about 20 years I think.I never knew her,she died before I was born.But something terrible happened a few years later.Her daughter (my aunt) got skincancer.She knew what her mother had been through for twenty years and the same thing could happen with her.But she was cured.This was over ten years ago,so it will surely not come back.She was very lucky.But if you think about what went through her head when she heard it...that's the worst moment of someone's life,it collapses.Your life falls apart.Your future is gone.

Nobody deserves this decease,not even your worst enemy.

Ronald

[jeana]

Hang in there, Brandon! My dad is in his sixth year after a bone marrow transplant and chemotherapy for leukemia. They gave him six months to live then; today he is living a very good quality life: working, golfing, and seeing his friends.

The best thing we found to do in the case of serious illness, was after the period of shock and feeling helpless, to get organized, find out as much as possible about the specific type of cancer, treatments, and survival. Then, we shopped for the best hospital in the country for the treatment of that cancer, packed up the whole family, and went there. All us kids took vacations from work to be there with my dad 24-7 in shifts: he was not alone for a minute, day or night. No one with colds or any contagious illness was allowed near him during his immunosuppressed state; we washed our hands dozens of times a day and wore special clean clothes and shoes to see him. My mom kept a detailed graph of his progress and records of his medications; several times she caught up potential mistakes (double medication, wrong medication, failure to give transfusion) caused by switching between hospitals or changing shifts of doctors and nurses. Also, my dad strove to keep a positive attitude... he tried to take each goal at a time: drinking each glass of juice or water, no matter how nauseated he was, and going for a daily walk on the hospital floor, no matter how hard it was to stand.

This is a time when the family of friends of a cancer victim can really close round and do something. Flowers are nice; concrete help towards solving the problem is better. And, of course, hope and prayer.

My dad was blessed: but even if he had not made it we could have truly said that we tried our best and withheld nothing. "God helps those who help themselves"

While on this subject, I'm hoping the best for Nathan's wife... we haven't heard from him for a while.

Tony, I'm so glad your nephew is better! My brother is a doctor at the Children's Hospital at Boston and I used to be a technician there, too!

[M1pilot]

Very, very sorry to hear the news about your friend brandon. My girlfriend's son recently passed on after a seven year battle with that **** disease, and I can relate 100% to how you feel. He's been gone now for just over a month, and it still has'nt really sunk in. To tell the truth, I guess it did'nt really sink in even seven years ago when we first got the bad news. We always hoped for him to get better, but we comfort ourselves in the knowledge that his suffering is finally over, and that he is hopefully in a better place. Pray brandon, and always be there for her....it'll do both of you good. And don't lose hope....things could very well work out ok.

-M1pilot

[tonym]

Listen to jeana!

Prayer is useful, but you've got to put up the fight of and for) you life too!

Research all your options. Get on the internet and search/research...if you don't know how...have someone do it for you. Get as many opinions as you need to feel comfortable that the course of treatment is appropriate and effective. Don't be afraid to step on anyone's toes, it's your life. And if it takes mortgaging the house and going deeply into debt, seek out the "foremost" authorities and experts for their consultation. In person! Most folks, because they've been bombarded with some very tough news, settle for mediocrity. Don't do this!

And attitude IS everything. If you think your're going to die, then you might as well make the arrangements.

I've never (thank God) personally gone through this, but I've had family members and dear friends that have. Unfortunately those that were defeated lost their battle. Those that fought like hell are still with us. It's not necessarily a rule, but if it happened to me I wouldn't think I was doomed. I would fight as hard as I could!


Best wishes...


Tony

[brandon184]

This is breast cancer by the way...

Well, as of now she feels that the cancer has spread to other areas. But that has yet to be confirmed by doctors. She was diagnosed on Thursday, or Friday of last week.

Here in Saskatchewan, we get free medicare.. The family is fairly wealthy, so that any other medical treatment, anywhere else wouldn't be a problem. My family has also informed them that if they need any help with medical bills, we are there for them.

She is prepared for chemotherapy, radiation and any other treatments.

Its still not set in. I was testing myself today. I'd tell myself that this situation is real, and my mind would say 'No.. its not.'

Thank you for your consolations. I would like to ask all of you for support via prayer.

Thank-You.

[ILC]

Brandon, truly sorry to hear of this. Hope and wish the best for you, your family, and most importantly the person.

ILC

[jad1097]

My father has had Cancer three times in his life. Once requiring a tracheotomy 25 years ago, due to the doctor scraping and paralyzing his voicebox. The other two times were just from overexposure to the sun, easily removed.

One of my uncles was diagnosed terminal about 3 years ago and giving 6 months to a year to live, he is still alive today. He had it all over his body and he did some extreme chemotherapy. He would go to the hospital for a week at a time to kill it (and his immune system) and it would keep coming back in few weeks but it now appears he beat it. He has not had any chemo done in over a year as far as I know and is free of any cancer.


This may sound a bit weird but I suggest she eat a lot of Broccoli or better yet take some Broccoli seeds and let them sprout and then eat them. I read about this theory a couple years ago in a herbal magazine. It is supposed to have a very large amount of carcigenics (SP?) and may help.

And prayer can be very strong since it helped my nephew with an incurable thing with his knees. The doctors were amazed after he went through some religious ceremony or something and whatever he had was unexplainably cured/gone. If you wish I could get the exact details from my brother. Most likely due to they way our subconscious minds can heal.

[Underclocked]

There is also something called "Essiac" which has Canadian origins and might be worthwhile to investigate. I'm no nutcase with the herbal stuff, but there must be some merit on occasion.
I drank it, I'm here. Also had two surgeries and extensive chemotherapy. Hard to say beyond the surgeries what did the most good/harm.

If nothing else you will learn about a Canadian nurse that went against the grain of the medical community and helped a large number of people (according to the accounts I've read).

[Wiruz]

I can relate - I lost my mom to it a year ago. It's a wierd feeling when your world just falls apart. Nothing makes sense.

I'm not religious, but a prayer goes out to you and her.

Cancer is truly the worst of all diseases. Don't let it win this one.

~Wiruz

[Savant]

our thoughts and prayers will be with you, hope she makes it.

know how you feel

Savant

[brandon184]

Good news in bad times...

The cancer has NOT spread. She is scheduled for surgery for the 24th.

I had some time to talk with my mom today, and we just talked about how we really need to stay positive in this time of need. My mom met a woman today who had the same surgery (a mastectamy), and she is doing excellent after her surgery only days ago.

- Brandon

[This message has been edited by brandon184 (edited 10-13-2000).]

[CujoRbd]

well, that's GREAT to hear, Brandon!

I know she'll be just fine. I'll continue to keep her in my prayers.

I lost my grandpa to colon cancer when I was just a young boy. Every time I saw his face, he just looked worse and worse. The chemo wasn't helping him at all, nor was any of the other treatment. He was in-and-out of the hospital during the last 7 or so months of his life.

His only solace was in his time alone. He always spoke with God. He wasn't saying anything like: "God, please help me get better" or anything like that. Instead, he would speak to God as a friend that was there to comfort him. It really struck me odd that he was in so much pain, but didn't really show it. I know part of it was the pain medication, but that certainly wasn't what was making it bearable.

I know that when he finally went, he had found peace. The cancer hadn't beaten him, but just lead him into the loving arms of Christ.

From what my dad says, he wasn't a very "religous" person most of his life. He rarely went to church, and didn't really enforce praying at all. But he was a good man, and in his last days, I think he found his way.


So, no matter what happens, help to show her the love of Christ. After she beats the cancer, she'll thank you for it. And if things don't go so well and she continues through and has to suffer with it and/or pass on from it, you know that she will be safe.

If you need any help or information regarding this, please don't hesitate to contact me. Also, you may want to check out Cancer.org (http://www.cancer.org/) , like Szech said above, for info on Caner and TheBible.com (http://www.thebible.com/) for any info you may want to search out.

Talk to you later.


In God's love,


Cujo

[mad1]

Brandon,
A couple of years ago my father was diagnosed with colon cancer, this was found due to eating nuts and taking asprin(blood thinner). We took my father to UIC in Chicago, Mayos first choice, where surgery was performed to remove the cancer. He was put in part of a experimental group for some type of medice(probably chemo). He has had no traces of the cancer returning.
The guy in the bed next to him waited too long to do something about the cancer,prognosis not good, it had spread to his lymph nodes.
Cance can be beat, if you don't like the answer get a second opinion. Don't worry about offending someone a life it too prescious.
Good Luck and keep your spirit up, they need all the support they can get.
Mayo clinic has a web site.http://www.mayohealth.org/mayo/common/htm/canhpage.htm
There is a clinic is Rochester,Minn. and one I think in Arizona.


[This message has been edited by mad1 (edited 10-14-2000).]

[This message has been edited by mad1 (edited 10-14-2000).]

[Maxwell T]

Brandon, Keep the Faith, and a smile!
Three years ago, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I endured surgery, chemo/radiation treatment - the works. It all paid off - I have been cancer free for over a year and a half now. One of the things I remember most is my friends and family being there to support me (even my ex-wife lol). No one tried to lie to me and tell me everything was going to be all right (we just didn't know at the time), but they were there to talk to me, and listen to me, and just by being there, let me know that they cared. I wasn't always one to show a lot of emotion, but this put so much in perspective for me. I realize that I am loved, and have love to give. That's all thats' really important in life. I am sorry to see a loved one in your life suffering, and trust me, just letting them know that you love them and are thinking of them, will help ease their burden. I owe my life to my doctors and nurses. I owe my spirit to my friends and family who took this journey with me.