wyvrn
03-06-2000, 03:09 PM
a.. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
b.. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English
to each other.
c.. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in
a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.
d.. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up
to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the
man lying beside her.
e.. The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star
detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
f.. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
g.. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
someone to talk you down.
h.. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
place no one will ever think of looking for you in there and you
can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
i.. Police departments give their officers personality tests to
make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their
polar opposite.
j.. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
k.. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with
large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
l.. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before
now.
m.. You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless
you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your
sweetheart back home.
n.. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it
will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will
do.
o.. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or
killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist
trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
p.. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
q.. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you
take but a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will
always be the exact fare.
r.. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen
at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light
instead.
s.. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
t.. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their
family every morning even though their husband and children never
have time to eat it.
u.. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
v.. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
w.. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the
size of RFK stadium.
x.. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
y.. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and
pant.
z.. It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or
ending phone conversations.
aa..Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is
necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few
moments.
ab..It is always possible to park directly outside the building
you are visiting.
ac..A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended
from duty.
ad..It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack
you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until
you have knocked out their predecessors.
ae..When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head,
they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
af..No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion,
volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
ag..Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba
diving.
ah..You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
ai..Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in
seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a
child trapped inside.
aj..Television news bulletins usually contain a story that
affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.
LOL. http://www.sysopt.com/forum/smile.gif
b.. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English
to each other.
c.. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in
a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.
d.. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up
to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the
man lying beside her.
e.. The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star
detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
f.. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
g.. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
someone to talk you down.
h.. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
place no one will ever think of looking for you in there and you
can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
i.. Police departments give their officers personality tests to
make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their
polar opposite.
j.. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
k.. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with
large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
l.. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before
now.
m.. You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless
you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your
sweetheart back home.
n.. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it
will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will
do.
o.. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or
killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist
trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
p.. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
q.. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you
take but a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will
always be the exact fare.
r.. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen
at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light
instead.
s.. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
t.. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their
family every morning even though their husband and children never
have time to eat it.
u.. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
v.. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
w.. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the
size of RFK stadium.
x.. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
y.. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and
pant.
z.. It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or
ending phone conversations.
aa..Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is
necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few
moments.
ab..It is always possible to park directly outside the building
you are visiting.
ac..A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended
from duty.
ad..It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack
you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until
you have knocked out their predecessors.
ae..When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head,
they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
af..No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion,
volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
ag..Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba
diving.
ah..You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
ai..Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in
seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a
child trapped inside.
aj..Television news bulletins usually contain a story that
affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.
LOL. http://www.sysopt.com/forum/smile.gif