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Stan
01-14-2000, 06:05 AM
Bill Gates Died in car Accident

Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found
himself in Purgatory being sized up by God. (Well, Bill.
I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to
send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously
helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the
world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I;'m going
to do something I've never done before. In your case
I'm going to let you decide where you want to go).
Bill replied, (Well, thanks, God. What's the
difference between the two?) God said, (I'm willing to let
you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a
decision).
(Fine, but where should I go first?)
God said, (I'm going to leave that up to you).
Bill said, (OK, then let's try Hell first).
So, Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful clean
sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of
beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing
and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the
temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. (This is
great)! he told God. (If this is Hell, I REALLY want to
see Heaven!)
(Fine), said God and off they went.
Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with
angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice,
but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick
minute and rendered his decision. (Hmm, I think I prefer
Hell) he told God. (Fine, retorted God, - as you desire-. So
Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later God decided to check up on the
late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell.
When God arrived in Hell he found Bill shackled to a
wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was
being burned and tortured by demons. (How's everything
going, Bill?) God asked. Bill responded - his voice full of
anguish and disappointment, (This is awful, this is not what
I expected. I can't believe this happened. What
happened to that other place with the beaches and the
beautiful women playing in the water?)
God says, (That was the screen saver).

Banti
01-14-2000, 06:33 AM
Hehe,

Heard this one about 5 years ago, but back then it was a beta/demo not a screen saver...


Banti

U-96
01-14-2000, 06:54 AM
"Why go to Heaven for the company of saints and monks when I can go to Hell and be in the company of kings, bishops and bankers"

to loosely paraphrase Machiavelli http://www.sysopt.com/forum/wink.gif

Ygor
01-14-2000, 08:43 AM
May you be in heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you're dead!