commodsquad
12-21-1999, 04:18 PM
<> The Top 13 Changes at Microsoft as a Result of Antitrust Charges
13. Microsoft offices no longer providing toilet paper bearing
Netscape logo.
12. Follow-up release to "IE4" now being referred to internally as
"IE5-10 with time off for good behavior."
11. Must say "pretty please with jam on top" before devouring
next competitor.
10. Cancellation of planned "You'll think what WE tell you to
think!" ad campaign.
9. United Way contributions redirected towards the "Let's Buy
The US Government" fund.
8. Plans to begin marketing MSFood, MSClothing and
MSShelter quietly tabled.
7. 10:00 AM: Barksdale (CEO of Netscape)visits Gates' office to sign
landmark settlement agreement. 10:05 AM: Feeding time for piranhas
beneath trap door.
6. "I don't break for software companies" bumper stickers
removed from corporate limousines.
5. Internal memos no longer refer to Janet Reno as "liquor
addled she-male."
4. Kick back for a while, let loser companies catch up.
3. Now relegated to making large piles of cash, down from huge
buttwads of cash.
2. Using honesty, humility and cooperation, allow one small
competitor to show a modest profit for three straight quarters.
Then when they're lulled, club 'em to death like a baby seal.
and the Number 1 Change at Microsoft as a Result of Antitrust
Charges...
1. Tables turned in jail, where Bill Gates has no choice but to
have "Big Louie's Inmate Explorer" installed against *his*
will.
...humor provided by http://topfive.com/
LOL thought you all would get a kick out of that... http://www.sysopt.com/forum/biggrin.gif
13. Microsoft offices no longer providing toilet paper bearing
Netscape logo.
12. Follow-up release to "IE4" now being referred to internally as
"IE5-10 with time off for good behavior."
11. Must say "pretty please with jam on top" before devouring
next competitor.
10. Cancellation of planned "You'll think what WE tell you to
think!" ad campaign.
9. United Way contributions redirected towards the "Let's Buy
The US Government" fund.
8. Plans to begin marketing MSFood, MSClothing and
MSShelter quietly tabled.
7. 10:00 AM: Barksdale (CEO of Netscape)visits Gates' office to sign
landmark settlement agreement. 10:05 AM: Feeding time for piranhas
beneath trap door.
6. "I don't break for software companies" bumper stickers
removed from corporate limousines.
5. Internal memos no longer refer to Janet Reno as "liquor
addled she-male."
4. Kick back for a while, let loser companies catch up.
3. Now relegated to making large piles of cash, down from huge
buttwads of cash.
2. Using honesty, humility and cooperation, allow one small
competitor to show a modest profit for three straight quarters.
Then when they're lulled, club 'em to death like a baby seal.
and the Number 1 Change at Microsoft as a Result of Antitrust
Charges...
1. Tables turned in jail, where Bill Gates has no choice but to
have "Big Louie's Inmate Explorer" installed against *his*
will.
...humor provided by http://topfive.com/
LOL thought you all would get a kick out of that... http://www.sysopt.com/forum/biggrin.gif