Answering machine mesage

[zybch]

I'm off for a bit of a holiday and need a mildly insulting message to stick on my answering machine.
I normally use:

"Hi, you've called ****, explain why after the beep"

But I want a new one this time. Any suggestions.

[mireland]

I'm off for a bit of a holiday and need a mildly insulting message to stick on my answering machine.
I normally use:

"Hi, you've called ****, explain why after the beep"

But I want a new one this time. Any suggestions.

how about"Hi, I'm not here, feel free to rob my house and leave a message if you want" :rolleyes:

[porsch1909]

unplug the phone....

[zybch]

how about"Hi, I'm not here, feel free to rob my house and leave a message if you want" :rolleyes:

Not sure that'd do the trick.

[Prushka]

"I will be posting an audio log of all idiots on my return...care to continue?"

[mireland]

Not sure that'd do the trick.

try it anyway... :D

[zybch]

I just set the machine on 'announce' mode only sopeople will get an outgoing message and then get hung up on. Afte the 5th call they get fed up having just wasted money on the calls and they don't ring back. :)

[Tony2005]

How about "Hello...Helllo?....Is anyone there?....Answer me!....Hello? **** off...... *BEEP*"

[porsch1909]

pretend ur dying....

[Prushka]

How to win friends and influence people

[zybch]

Hi, you've reached John Murphy, I'm busy killing computers now, I wonder what this button does..'

[j.m@talk]

:eek:

My fone diverts to my Moby/(padded)Cell

I live in a civilised place with 98% cell coverage :t

[zybch]

I'm in mobile range, but I don't want the herberts calling me on it.

[j.m@talk]

Anyone can talk to me anytime ........... Unless I leave the ferker in the glovebox ;)

[zybch]

The JM suicide hotline.

[mireland]

I'm in mobile range, but I don't want the herberts calling me on it.

who calls you anyway? I mean besides your parole officer... :D

[zybch]

I get 15-30 calls a day :(
Sometimes way more, its enough to make you go buy a really ugly cat!

[mireland]

I get 15-30 calls a day :(
Sometimes way more, its enough to make you go buy a really ugly cat!


wrong numbers huh.... :rolleyes:

[zybch]

I wish!

[porsch1909]

dillusions of grandeur? :p

[DozerLYP]

my voice mail says: sorry i can't ear my phone right now due to the loud music and the high level of entertainment, so leave a message and I'll call you bake as soon i get board...

[ukulele]

I get 15-30 calls a day :(
Sometimes way more, its enough to make you go buy a really ugly cat!

Why don't you just tell all those bill collectors you died? :D

[j.m@talk]

Or just shoot im' self :t

[ukulele]

Get some 'hoe with a raspy voice to say, "Zibby shot himself in the head last night because you ferkers (insert true meaning) keep calling about the terrible job he did on your computer. It wasn't him fixing the **** computers in the first place. It was his pet kangaroo!!! So f******(insert expletive, you know the one). :D

[j.m@talk]

Wiv "G'day" first tho eh :D

[ukulele]

OK, I have a change of heart (no zibby didn't pay me), I think Zibby should walk. It's only fair. Just don't change countries. :D

[DozerLYP]

..

[genesound]

Mine used to be "Hi, I might be home right now avoiding calls from somebody I don't like, so leave a message, and if I don't call back, it's you!" :p

[zybch]

Thats bloody fantastic! :)

Mind if I rip you off?

[herosrest]

The previous caller remains on line.

Aunt Jess goes on a bit, mostly waffle but l am penciled into
her will for $17.843 mil so please try later.
Next thursday should do it.

Have an excruciatingly good day.

[genesound]

Thats bloody fantastic! :)

Mind if I rip you off?Sure... itsa goodn init?

[genesound]

I used to get a lot of hang ups and laughs though... ppl just calling to hear it ;)