Americans are schizophrenic

[j.m@talk]

PARIS (Reuters) - Americans seem to be schizophrenic when it comes to their opinion of France.

Arrogant is the best way to describe the French, according to nearly three out of every 10 Americans, but almost as many would call them open, a Le Figaro magazine poll showed on Thursday.

Some two thirds of Americans see France as a land of liberty and human rights in which people can freely practice their religion, and yet almost one third call it an anti-Semitic country.

Relations between the United States and France are expected to improve in the coming years by 36 percent of Americans and to deteriorate by 22 percent.

But the cliches associated with France tend to be more positive than negative -- ask Americans what best symbolizes France and the good things in life come to the fore, with Paris, wine, and gastronomy topping the list, while strikes barely get a mention.

The survey polled 1,000 people between July 6 and 10.

http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/nws/p/reuters120.gif

[BadDriver]

Errrrr, who cares. The French excell at one thing. ........... Surrendering. :p

[jediburke]

http://www.randomfunnypictures.com/funny_pictures/34.jpg

[drewster]

http://www.randomfunnypictures.com/funny_pictures/34.jpg


Not Found
The requested URL /funny_pictures/[F,NC] was not found on this server.

Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request. :t

[jediburke]

OK

[j.m@talk]

- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."

[j.m@talk]

Le Tonque :D

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/6147f97d1a.jpg

:t

[mireland]

screw the french!( well just the girlies actually) :D

[zybch]

Try this for fun.

[porsch1909]

I like the George bush one that you put in google better :p

[zybch]

Try typing in 'dubya dildo cheney'

[porsch1909]

http://www.dailycardinal.com/media/paper439/news/2003/04/13/Features/The-Mother.Of.All.Media.War.Coverage-417935.shtml


:rolleyes:

[zybch]

Raises some good points though, doesn't it.
Like Dubya must have a really small willy to overcompensate so much :)

[porsch1909]

i never read it.....

[zybch]

You should.

[porsch1909]

Would involve registering....

[zybch]

I didn't have to.
Perhaps its coz you're scottish and they have some sort of minimum standard required to view their pages.

[porsch1909]

:rolleyes:

Id rather not read of GWB *****....

[j.m@talk]

Nebin ......................Yas in ;)

[mireland]

:rolleyes:

Id rather not read of GWB *****....

better watch them astericks...trust me... :(