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tantone
07-01-2005, 02:21 PM
TexasLogic

Two South Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day Jim goes down to the college and meets the dean of admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: math, English, history, and logic.

"Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weedeater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically because you own a weedeater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."

"Yes, I do have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all *of that because I have a weedeater."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. *He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for math, English, history, and logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?"

Jim says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weedeater?"

"No."

"Then you're a queer."

mireland
07-01-2005, 02:25 PM
ahhh..gwbush thinking! :D

Strawbs
07-01-2005, 02:33 PM
LMAO. :D

BTW: you must have some seriously fat fingers to hit the "*" & "O" at the same time. :eek: "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all *of that because I have a weedeater."

tantone
07-01-2005, 02:45 PM
Cut'n'paste from an e-mail. I hadn't even noticed them.

You know, I just checked the e-mail and they weren't there. Something in Lotus Notes was translated to * in plain text. Odd.

chubtub
07-01-2005, 04:41 PM
:r lol, that is great!

Steve R Jones
07-01-2005, 04:56 PM
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior
that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to
Earth for a time.


When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are
misbehaving and only 5% are not."


God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second
angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to
Earth for a time too.


When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The
Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."


God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good,
because He wanted to encourage them. Give them a little something to help
them keep going.


Do you know what the e-mail said ?


























Okay, just wondering; I didn't get one either...

mireland
07-01-2005, 05:02 PM
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior
that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to
Earth for a time.


When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are
misbehaving and only 5% are not."


God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second
angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to
Earth for a time too.


When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The
Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."


God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good,
because He wanted to encourage them. Give them a little something to help
them keep going.


Do you know what the e-mail said ?


























Okay, just wondering; I didn't get one either...


didn't get one either... :(

tantone
07-01-2005, 05:04 PM
I'd post it here, but it was covered by a copyright and I've yet to be able to contact the owner.

Strawbs
07-01-2005, 05:19 PM
didn't get one either... :(I think my mouse wheel just fused! that must be the longest quote in history. :D

mireland
07-01-2005, 05:40 PM
I'd post it here, but it was covered by a copyright and I've yet to be able to contact the owner.


yea..sure...uh huh...you were one of the 5%...MUHAHAHAHAH! :rolleyes:

ShadeZeRO
07-03-2005, 12:58 PM
SRJ, you got a weedeater :-p??? You're from Texas...

BuildItYourself
07-05-2005, 01:31 AM
Good 5% email? *Looks Around Nervously* hehehe, hehe, ummm, *STARTS SWEATING* What 5% email?