dating advice

[thronka]

Ok guys..who knew I would be asking for advice on dating on the internet :P

Any who... I went out last nite with a friend of mine (who is a girl) but I consider her a girlfriend and she just considers me a friend. We have been friends for a LONG time.. about 2 years.

I told her yesterday, when I was on the phone with her, that "Ever since I met you, I blossomed and opened up. I never do that around anyone else" She replied that "Awww how sweet of you to say that".

I started getting feelings for her a couple of months ago. I told her and she just stayed silent and didnt say anything but she just smiled and replied "Thats fine. It is not going to change anything about our friendship. I am not mad" I think she mean because I said it here she wasnt going to get mad and change her feelings for me. I dunno.. girls can be stange with wording..

ok on to the whole shabang... So we went to the movies and saw "Chasing Libery" (YES I LIKE CHICK FLICKS!) and we watched the movie and ate twislers candy. We fought for the arm rest because I think she is left handed and I am right handed. So we finally just give up on fighting for the arm rest and just put our arms up and just lean on each other. I am leaning anyway because we got this (bless my soul) 14 years old making out next to me and its gross. And we stood that way the whole time.

When we left the movie theatre, we just laughed on how we fought for the arm rest. Don't ask me why. Then we drove, oh my god, 12 miles to the nearest Taco Bell and ate then.. Brian Holt called and talked for about 20 minutes. Then I dropped her off and she said bye.

Let me ask you this then (stupid hormones): How do I know her feelings are changing for me? How do I know she is actually doing this because she wants to and know because she feels sorry for me (I dunno if she does or not)?

Ok dating experts.. your turn now!

[Ammok]

A work colleague of mine had a female freind whom he travelled the world over with, never had sex with her, but they slept together in shared hotels, but he never let her know he wanted her as a woman, so they came home and went their seperate ways, fifteen years later he is married with three lovely kids and ruins my coffee break telling me about this girl. He is still in love with her.

Now my point is this, he respected her, had fun with with her and ultimately lost her.

Now, if by telling this girl that your feelings are changing, you lose her, thats a chance you have to take, otherwise you will be spoiling someelses coffee break in fifteen years time, and if I'm really lucky, probably mine.


So do me a big favour, write down all your feelings in a letter, tell her that the only reason for breathing is to share her breath becuase that's whats gives you life, tell her everything.(almost)

Now if you lose her at least you have tried, take a big, and do not be a cheapskate, bunch of red roses along with the note. In the note place a ticket for a theatre seat say for "romeo and juliet" and you have the second one. Drop this bundle off her house, go home and sweat tears of blood, go to the theatre and hope she shows up.

As a precaution, take along a huge bar of chocolate in case of a no show.

You can't go on living in fear of rejection, to many of us have already made that mistake, take a look at JM and mireland



(and me) if you don't believe me.

[j.m@talk]

Try the "Dull Thud" on a flat levitated surface method ;)

What do ya fink if dis baby" (Thud) :D

[mireland]

Originally posted by Ammok

You can't go on living in fear of rejection, to many of us have already made that mistake, take a look at JM and mireland



(and me) if you don't believe me.


gosh, I even been rejected when trying to donate my body to science...http://www.fancysplace.com/smileys/sadwavey.gif

[Ammok]

Originally posted by j.m@talk21.com
Try the "Dull Thud" on a flat levitated surface method ;)

What do ya fink if dis baby" (Thud) :D

roaring with laughter here, whaddya think he is, an elephant!!!! LOL.:D

[j.m@talk]

Originally posted by Ammok
A work colleague of mine had a female friend........ Blah blah ....

Good grief :rolleyes:

[Ammok]

no it wasn't me ya mormon, my problem was always the other way round, "what you doing here, fancy a sh...." working on the mistaken belief that one in ten would say yes,LOL.:D

[thronka]

You can't go on living in fear of rejection, to many of us have already made that mistake, take a look at JM and mireland

I know. I just never had a relationship like this and wanted to know if I needed to make any move or stay away from those feelings? A friend told me to tell her and I did and let it blossom by not mentioning it and let her decide. I am new at this. I always lived in a confined world. thats all.

[zybch]

Quick advice for JM about dating.




DON'T!!!





We don't need any more people with your particular mix of DNA wandering about on internet forums.

[Ammok]

inside, we are all the same. there is no right answer here, only you can decide what course of action to take, listen to your heart and make the right decision.

If we started a thread, "who had a great chance with a fantastic girl and blew it becuase he was a first class knob" it would have more responses to than jameswillamour thread on overclocking hampsters.

http://www.sysopt.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=45534

[mireland]

Originally posted by zybch
Quick advice for JM about dating.




DON'T!!!





We don't need any more people with your particular mix of DNA wandering about on internet forums.


Wow, that was mean...even for me...:(

[zybch]

I think most of the members here over 16 or so have screwed up a possible relationship with the perfect girl/guy. There are no hard and fast rules about dating, not like 30 years ago when there were strict male/female roles and stuff like that.

Nowdays, well who knows? Say one thing to one person and they hate you, say it to another and they want to get you into bed straight away and have 1,000,000 kids and get married etc etc...

The only thing anyone can do is to ignore a lot of advice from others and just do their best, on yor own terms rather than following advice from people who are basically strangers with no real insight in either you or a potential partner.

[zybch]

Originally posted by mireland
Wow, that was mean...even for me...:(

I'm just sick to death of his **** avatar changing! Once per month should be the max frequency allowed.

[Ammok]

he's just jealous JM's way out in front with FF, but does she know about his sweaty feet.,:D

[Ammok]

oh, and he was made to change his avatar.:t

[zybch]

Or hairy back, knuckles that drag on the ground, halitosis, vestigial tail, webbed feet, etc...

[Ammok]

meow..........






lol.:D

[mireland]

Originally posted by zybch
Or hairy back, knuckles that drag on the ground, halitosis, vestigial tail, webbed feet, etc...


yikes...http://www.fancysplace.com/smileys/nutkick.gif

[zybch]

Originally posted by Ammok
oh, and he was made to change his avatar.:t

Only because I pointed out that he looked like he wasn't squeezing the sauce bottle. Dirty beast.
He'll go blind.

[Ammok]

thats why he picked it, lol.:D

[j.m@talk]

I just liked the news hound better :t

[Ammok]

nah, the throne was a classic.

[Swordfish]

Let me ask you this then (stupid hormones): How do I know her feelings are changing for me? How do I know she is actually doing this because she wants to and know because she feels sorry for me (I dunno if she does or not)?

go and ask her.

don't waste any time now, dopey....;)

Good luck!:)

[crapyking]

Here's my take for what it's worth (40yrs worth). 18 yrs old is a good place to be but some women are hard to figure at that age. Look at her past boyfriends, dating habits & try to see what she liked in her past bo's. I don't know what your lifestyle is but if you can get her drunk & hang out w/ her all night that usually breaks the ice. Breaks down there inhabitions, if she don't bite then don't kill yourself trying. Women are all different (& screwedup) most will give you subtle hints if there interested. Don't beat yourself up, she kinda hinted things were not going to change & they probly won't. The only other thing you can do is ask her friends how she feels about you. Having turned away too many opertunities as a lad I kick myself in the *** daily. Date as much as your conscience will let you at an early age. You won't get the chance in a few yrs & the stakes are alot higher. Once they get 24 or so there all looking for the prize (ring).:rolleyes:

[gjimene2]

Originally posted by crapyking
Here's my take for what it's worth (40yrs worth). 18 yrs old is a good place to be but some women are hard to figure at that age. Look at her past boyfriends, dating habits & try to see what she liked in her past bo's. I don't know what your lifestyle is but if you can get her drunk & hang out w/ her all night that usually breaks the ice. Breaks down there inhabitions, if she don't bite then don't kill yourself trying. Women are all different (& screwedup) most will give you subtle hints if there interested. Don't beat yourself up, she kinda hinted things were not going to change & they probly won't. The only other thing you can do is ask her friends how she feels about you. Having turned away too many opertunities as a lad I kick myself in the *** daily. Date as much as your conscience will let you at an early age. You won't get the chance in a few yrs & the stakes are alot higher. Once they get 24 or so there all looking for the prize (ring).:rolleyes:



Yea, get her drunk and break the ice :rolleyes:

[Swordfish]

http://www.fancysplace.com/smileys/smiley_headscratch.gif

http://www.fancysplace.com/smileys/smiley_thatsbad.gifhttp://www.fancysplace.com/smileys/smiley_thatsbad.gif

[fancyf]

Originally posted by crapyking
Here's my take for what it's worth (40yrs worth). ...if you can get her drunk & hang out w/ her all night that usually breaks the ice. Breaks down there inhabitions, if she don't bite then don't kill yourself trying. Women are all different (& screwedup) ... Once they get 24 or so there all looking for the prize (ring).:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
it's not worth much ATM...

[crapyking]

I figured someone would appreciate my wisdom! Even if I can't manage my own affairs.:( :r

[bushmaster]

Set it up so you two hang out one night and rent the movie "Don Juan DiMarco" with Johnny Depp.
Set it so you are both sitting on the same couch and nice and comfy.
If she sighs and smiles at you and you see happiness in her eyes then your in.
If she just doesnt get it and is reactionless while watching that movie then it just isn't there at all for her and probably never will be.

[Radi0h3ad]

Well no I think some people are lookin at the 'get her drunk thing' as basically 'take advantage' :rolleyes:

Naw, I agree with that piece of advice to some extent, & here's why. When people are drunk they tend to lose their inhibitions slightly (depending on how much they've drank :x ) and it's easier to talk to each other.... I find it easier to talk to people (especially the gals) when I'm under the influence slightly! But it's a thin line between talking and building the foundations well, and letting the alcahol take control...

I'm 20, no girl, and a bit of a loser so I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not I'm talking out of my crevice when I say just go for it. She may like the idea. The only one who can make it happen is you, don't wait for her to make the first move...
Yeah, you can lose a friendship if you try and go that little bit further, which she isn't prepared to go, but on the other hand, you can hold back, and either stay friends and see her hook up with total smack heads through the years, see her get hurt, see her with other people... and it'll tear you up too, (and then there's always the eventuality that she'll find some guy, get married, while you're still sat on the fence watching it all play out)

I think once your feelings have gone from just friends to wanting something more, they aint ever gonna go back until you know what she wants too.


Good luck with it, seriously :t

[mireland]

Originally posted by gjimene2
Yea, get her drunk and break the ice :rolleyes:



http://www.fancysplace.com/smileys/nothatway.gif



dosen't work..tried it...:D

[intimidator]

Originally posted by crapyking
Here's my take for what it's worth (40yrs worth). 18 yrs old is a good place to be but some women are hard to figure at that age. Look at her past boyfriends, dating habits & try to see what she liked in her past bo's. I don't know what your lifestyle is but if you can get her drunk & hang out w/ her all night that usually breaks the ice. Breaks down there inhabitions, if she don't bite then don't kill yourself trying. Women are all different (& screwedup) most will give you subtle hints if there interested. Don't beat yourself up, she kinda hinted things were not going to change & they probly won't. The only other thing you can do is ask her friends how she feels about you. Having turned away too many opertunities as a lad I kick myself in the *** daily. Date as much as your conscience will let you at an early age. You won't get the chance in a few yrs & the stakes are alot higher. Once they get 24 or so there all looking for the prize (ring).:rolleyes:

LOL......Priceless........You rule! :D

[Bigjakkstaffa]

Originally posted by Ammok


If we started a thread, "who had a great chance with a fantastic girl and blew it becuase he was a first class knob" it would have more responses to than jameswillamour thread on overclocking hampsters.



*raises hand sheepishly*

...that said, she wasnt much better herself


--Jakk:t

[Cyan]

www.askmen.com

be more assertive, don't beg her, be yourself, don't be a jackass, be a mystery, she's labled you as a friend - you'll have to do more work to get out of that place and into the other.

In a 3 year relationship myself.

[thronka]

Thanks for all the advice. I will take it into consideration.

[Ammok]

good luck.:t

[j.m@talk]

Originally posted by j.m@talk21.com
Try the "Dull Thud" on a flat levitated surface method ;)

What do ya fink if dis baby" (Thud) :D

Remember this ;)

[scottluebke2003]

Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris. This book absoultely changed the way I think about dating and marriage. I highly recommend it to anyone. It can be bought for around $10 on www.amazon.com or www.cbd.com

[scottluebke2003]

That post about getting a girl drunk is whacked. That's no way to find the right girl for you. You might find a girl that way, but it won't last. What kind of girls are you looking for? If you want a really pricelss girl, then try looking for one that doesn't get excited about spending the evening getting trashed out of her right mind. Be a man, if you want to pursure a girl, let her know. Lay it down at the beginning, that way you arn't wasting your time or emotions. A good friendship with a female is great, but it can be runined if you allow a misinterpretation to go on for too long.
"Be a mystery" is also whacked. What kind of relationship are you looking to build? Start off on the right foot and build it strong from the very beginning. It will pay off in the long run.

[crapyking]

hey at 18 no one knows what the hell they want. the kid wants some affection. if it's one night then thats all it's worth. Do you think that girl has a gameplan for life? Doubt it! I'm not preaching immorality but the beer thing is not wacked - it's right on target!:eek:

[Ammok]

the lad wants love, not sex(well maybe he wants that too), the beer thing is whacked, one guaranteed way to ensure she never speaks to you again. Anyonewho ever involved themselves with cheap sex knows it only cheapens you, and then you have even less self respect than when you started.

Thats why i'm a bloke, cos i'd be a right tart if I was a bird. The trick is to overcome the beast within, and gain self control, that way you become human.:cool:

[j.m@talk]

Originally posted by crapyking
hey at 18 no one knows what the hell they want.

Hooters thats what :D same goes for 19,20,21,22,23,24 etc etc ;)

[mireland]

Originally posted by j.m@talk21.com
Hooters thats what :D same goes for 19,20,21,22,23,24 etc etc ;)

:rolleyes:

[j.m@talk]

Originally posted by mireland
:rolleyes:

Ok mireland........ Think "Guy" :eek:

Poof ;)

[mireland]

Originally posted by j.m@talk21.com
Ok mireland........ Think "Guy" :eek:

Poof ;)


http://www.fancysplace.com/smileys/pancakes.gif