Police uncover dirty bomb plot.

[Black Beard]

S****horpe, England.

Armed police and anti terrorist agents stormed a house in S****horpe at 0530 hours this morning. Although the police are not currently releasing many details, it has been disclosed that they were responding on a tip off from a member of the public.

A spokesman at the scene said 'We cannot divuldge any more details at the moment, but we can say we were responding to a tip off about a possible 'dirty' bomb plot'. He went on to add 'that the tip off presented a clear and immediate thereat,.... to something'.

A local at the scene, standing with a large number of other gloaters, rubber neckers, busybodies, and general nosey bastards trying to get on TV, gave us his account of the mornings activities.

'I was like, on my way homes this monrnin' as I likes works nights you sees. An like anyways, there was all this rushing an flashing lights and all these, urm, like, er police guys kinda leapt out and stormed into that there house o'er there with battering rams and gas and guns blazing an stuff'

The man went on to explain that he'd spent the next hour phoning everyone he knew, to let them know there was an 'event' going on. This could perhaps explain the large crowd of people who obviously must have driven miles to get to this hamlet in the middle of nowhere.
Responding to the suggestion that police had fired on the suspects, the police released the following statment.

'Given the nature of this tip off, and in light of recent terrorist action against arresting police, we decided that in this case, it would be better to shoot first and ask questions later.'

It has been confirmed that there are a number of dead and wounded, including the next door neighbour, who's house was entered first by mistake.

Responding to claims of police incompetance Superintendant Smith told us to 'F**k off'.

Later in the morning the police revelaed their source as Mrs Miggins the nosey neighbour from number 33. Apparently she had noticed that the foreign looking man from number 30 had not left his wheelie bin out for the 3rd week in a row. All on her own she deduced that with his recent purchase of some fertiliser, and the fact that foreginers are dirty and make more waste than us 'normals', he must in fact be making a bomb to spray dirty household waste accross a large portion of the know world (S****hrope and the surrounding villages to Mrs Miggins).

It was later discovered that actually the man was an avid recycler and had been taking his seperated rubbish to the local recyling plant as the council did not provide an adequate collection facility. He was using the fertiliser to help grow sunflowers for disadvantaged children, and was a valued member of the local community working for free 14 hours a day to provide for the disabled.

At a later hearing in which the police were found to have acted with perfectly reasonable force, Superindendant Smith released the following statement.

'It is nice to see the public rallying behind us, we urge more people to come forward if they see anything suspiciuos. It is better to be safe than sorry. It is sad but occasionally the blood of the innocents must be spilled, but it makes for good TV and news coverage'

He left the building clutching a buldging brown envelope seen given to him by the head of the UK's ITN news, who coincidently were first on the scene. We dared draw no conclusions, they know where we live.

Note: The author categorically denies this report has been plagiarised from a thesis written in 1914 by a primary school student.

[Bigjakkstaffa]

Note: The author categorically denies this report has been plagiarised from a thesis written in 1914 by a primary school student.

Tee Hee, our government is a sham

--Jakk:t

[Black Beard]

Originally posted by Bigjakkstaffa


Tee Hee, our government is a sham

--Jakk:t

No not really, my own opinion is that nothing is done without a purpose, especially when dealing with the British government, special branch and security services, they are clever, very clever, in fact so clever that sometimes its pays to appear stupid, plodding and incompetent.

There are several scenarios that could be put forward as the reasons for what at first, to a lay person, appears to be a monumental cockup.

It is well known that over 75% of UK subjects are very sceptical about the reasons for a war with Iraq and that many suspect the UK and US governments have an ulterior motive other than the removal of the threat of weapons of mass destruction. Because this percentage of sceptics is exceedingly high it must be quite obvious that some of these sceptics serve within the very administration that is promoting a war with Iraq. Suppose some of these civil servants put together a document they knew would be seized upon by their paymasters for public digestion knowing full well it would exposed the very next day as a work of fictions and half truths. The embarrassment caused to both the UK and US governments would help to destroy their credibility, weaken their argument in the eyes of the world and place a strain upon their special relationship.

Another senario is the British government itself knew their own document would be exposed. The reason, they have unwisely cornered themselves by becoming too aligned with the Bush administration. I will not expand beyond that but leave the rest to your imagination.