Computer Stupidities

[Monster1]

Great link
Computer Stupidities (http://rinkworks.com/stupid/)

[Ammok]

LOL, very funny, xlnt site on my favs now.:)

[Beeblequix]

Oh yeah, that one's a classic! I used to read it a few years back, but had to move on to other things. I'll definitely have to reread those stories--they're excellent.
chau,
ß.Qµix

[gibsinep]

Great stuff, some people. lol :eek:

[Monster1]

Which reminds me..My father stoppped at a garage sale and the woman told him there was a computer for sale. My dad was kida of intersted and what kind of computer was it. the woman responded "its a compa-q".my father told her that it was pronouced "compack not compa-q":rolleyes: :t

[gjimene2]

lmao, kinda reminded me last week my grandfather told me that he found a computer and that my cousin's husband said that it worked fine because it turned on. I went to look at it because he was giving it to me, came to find out it was just a monitor and my cousin's dumb@$$ husband thought it was an imac.


HAHAHAHAHA

[$1500-P4 gamer]

That reminds me of a incident. A guy I was talking to was saying he would like to get his sons old pc working. I was like alright details. He went on to say he only had a mon. I'm thinking thats not a hole pc (his son passed on this year). Did his ex- keep the rest? So then he says ya the calc works. I'm like what how can that be without a tower, remember he said "PC"? Then he talks about a cd drive. Then it hits me, its not that old-its a friggen Imac and he tought it was broke cause all it had was the calc on the desktop!!!!!! He didnt know you had to load prog.s into it! AHhhhhh, some people!:rolleyes:

[Snix]

Hey lets keep these stories rolling! Great posts P4 gamer and Gjimene2

[Giblet Plus!]

LOL

My mom goes crazy when she sees those "security alert" pop-ups and web ads. I thought it was funny until I had to spend 10 minutes explaing how it's just an ad.

Both my dad and sister have had problems with windows (not the os, just windows in general) "not closing" on the internet. I come over to look at it, and there's about 20 ad windows open from them quicking the little fake X in the corner of pop-up windows.

:t

[DocEvi1]

not mine but :

Compaq Computers is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the ANY key is.

AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover one - the cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective disks - a few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the disks.

A Dell Computer customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After fourty minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the SEND key.

An IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't even fit it in." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first!

At 3:37 a.m. on a Sunday, a bloke had just looked at the clock to determine my annoyance level, when I received a frantic phone call from a new user of a Macintosh Plus. She had gotten her entire family out of the house and was calling from her neighbor's. She had just received her first system error and interpreted the picture of the bomb on the screen as a warning that the computer was going to blow up.


Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'." (At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened. I couldn't, however, stop from giggling when I got back to the call.) Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?" Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message." Tech Support: "Did you install the update?" Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word." Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done." Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'." Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says." Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'." Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk." Customer: "What?" Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?" Customer "No..."

Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Customer: "Uhh... I need help unpacking my new PC." Tech Support: "What exactly is the problem?" Customer: "I can't open the box." Tech Support: "Well, I'd remove the tape holding the box closed and go from there." Customer: "Uhhhh... ok, thanks...."

At this company they have asset numbers on the front of everything. These give the location, name, and everything else just by scanning the computer's asset barcode or using the number beneath the bars. Customer: "Hello. I can't get on the network." Tech Support: "Ok. Just read me your asset number so we can open an outage." Customer: "What is that?" Tech Support: "That little barcode on the front of your computer." Customer: "Ok. Big bar, little bar, big bar, big bar . . ."

Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won't work." Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?" Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all." Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?" Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out that didn't work either." Tech Support: "You did what sir?" Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit." Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?" Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective." Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?" At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in. Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?" Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out." Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?" Silence. Tech Support: "Sir?" Customer: "Yes." Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?" Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer!" Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?" Customer: "Ummmm." Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?" Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!" Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day."

Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

Customer: "I'm having a problem installing your software. I've got a fairly old computer, and when I type 'INSTALL', all it says is 'Bad command or file name'." Tech Support: "Ok, check the directory of the A: drive - go to A:\ and type 'dir'." Customer reads off a list of file names, including 'INSTALL.EXE'. Tech Support: "All right, the correct file is there. Type 'INSTALL' again." Customer: "Ok." (pause) "Still says 'Bad command or file name'." Tech Support: "Hmmm. The file's there in the correct place - it can't help but do something. Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the Enter key?" Customer: "Yes, let me try it again." (pause) "Nope, still 'Bad command or file name'." Tech Support: (now really confused) "Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the key that says 'Enter'?" Customer: "Well, yeah. Although my 'N' key is stuck, so I'm using the 'M' key... does that matter?

Bob works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. The best call came from a man who repeatedly complained that he keeps being paged by "Lucille." He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him. "She don't never leave no number, so I can't call her back," he said. After three such calls, someone thought to ask how he knew it was Lucille if she didn't leave a number. "She leaves her name," was the reply. After establishing that the customer had a numeric-only pager, the light bulb came on. "How does she spell her name?" the service rep asked. "L-O-W C-E-L-L"

A lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. After inquiring as to what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the Internet, and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".

An individual would plug their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer would not turn on.

1st Person "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
2nd Person "A little. What's wrong?"
1st Person "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
2nd Person "How did you load the sheet?"
1st Person "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it."

A distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" a person asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery for this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" he asked. "No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As he took the key and manually unlocked the door, he replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries...it's a long walk."




Stefan

[DocEvi1]

a couple more:

Tech Support "What does the screen say now..."
Person "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support "Well?"
Person "How do I know when it's ready?"

Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five copies.

A server crashed. The new system administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to type a path name to a directory named "i386." He started to type it and paused, asking Stephen "Where's the key for that line thing?" Stephen asked what he was talking about, and he said, "You know, that one that looks like an upside-down exclamation mark."
he replied, "You mean the letter "i"?" and he said, "Yeah, that's it!"

I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large new motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in back to make a sandwich


here are some sound clips:

Here (http://www.plutonium2010.co.uk/laughter_stories_technology_sounds.htm)

Stefan

[newclockr]

I recently had a customer bring his machine in twice for repair. The first time I found a few minor errors, corrected them & tuned it up. The second time (in the same week) I found nothing wrong except he'd unplugged it, without shutting down, to bring it in.

Twenty minutes after leaving my shop, he called, all bent because he couldn't get it to type! I'd obviously done "shoddy work", even though he saw it working on my bench. So I close the shop, drive out to his home, pulled the tower out, and PLUGGED THE KEYBOARD INTO THE CORRECT PS2 and handed him a bill for $65! (Bad mouth me, will ya...)